Pastoring families of the hopelessly ill
Some of you have questioned whether I am truly Christian because of my position on the Terri Schiavo case. This speaks volumes because it is not I or my ideological allies who are casting people into the outer darkness because they disagree. The speed at which some of you have reached to condemn me - in the most literal way, since as a not-true-Christian I am obviously Hellbound - reveals much more about your spiritual condition than mine.

I assure you that there is not one pastor in this country who does not deal with end-of-life issues much more frequently than any of us would like. With very rare exceptions, we have all helped families cope with invocations of living wills or terminality absent them. We all understand the heart-wrenching moments these cases entail and the deep distress the families endure. Next of kin, especially those empowered by law or power of attorney to make decisions on behalf of a loved one who cannot, experience true agonies of the soul in seeing their loved ones slip away in stages.

But the idea that the only truly Christian position is to keep someone alive by artificial means against his/her will when every medical opinion is that there is no hope for recovery is repugnant. The pastoral task in these situations is not blindly to conform to the wishes of parents, spouses or children of the patient. While the pastor must provide compassion, support and empathy, s/he must of all persons involved be ruled less by emotion and most by reason. Often, only the pastor can be the integrator of family history, the patient's wishes (whether explicit or implicit), the grief of the family and the opinions of the doctors.

This is itself an enormous burden for a pastor, but we remember that we "can do all things through him who strengthens us." At bottom, all these cases in all their sorrows come to be matters of faith - faith that the doctors are skilled and truthful, faith that there is a hope for the stricken even if death comes, and faith that for those who love the dying that life will continue worthwhile come what may.

That expression of faith can be the most difficult of all for a pastor to shepherd a family through, because one task of care in faith is helping people understand that hope does not die along with the loved one. There often comes a time when we need to explain, as gently but as clearly as possible, that life can be grasped so tightly that it precludes trust in a gracious God who provides throughout both our life and our death, and that letting a loved one pass into eternity, as heart-hollowing as it is, is in some cases an affirmation of faith and hope rather than their denial.

If you think that Terri's case is not medically hopeless or that she never really expressed a desire not to be kept alive in her condition, then before you flame me (which I will ignore anyway), I would ask you to read my post The Schiavo Great Divide, which is a prequel to this one.

by Donald Sensing, 3/25/2005 12:10:00 PM. Permalink |